Thursday, May 30, 2013

Pescatarianism

I officially stopped being a pescatarian yesterday.  To be honest I expected some sort of change but really there is nothing I miss.  The entire point was to keep my parents from attempting to eat our chickens (I still refuse to eat said species of bird), so I don't really feel bad about stopping being a pescatarian.

There was one surreal difference I have noticed so far though; before, when I didn't eat meat besides fish, I never felt like eating meat.  Now a day after starting to eat meat again I am craving it.  I can't wait to eat a Big Mac!!!  :)

A Hard Time

One of the things I've had the hardest time with in college is the fact that I'm currently undecided.  I have no idea what to do with my life, so for right now I am mainly dubbing myself an English Major, but in all honesty I have no idea.

I like languages(mostly romance languages), and I want to do something with that, but I also want to be able to get as much out of the job I get as what I put into college.  French Translators have a small salary to start out with, and mainly French people also speak English.  I really do not like Spanish because it's so common around America, and I like the Romanian language, but very few places offer Romanian lessons; I'm also not sure if I would be able to commit to it if I did it on my own.  I want to take the lessons at a college, but it's really hard to find a college in the US that has lessons in Romanian, while at the same time a college in my state so I only have to pay in-state tuition rates.  I also really do not want to have to do more than 4 years of college, because frankly I just do not like school work in general.

I'm still confused which is why I have a lack of motivation as far as college is concerned, that and whenever I want a boy I seem to get solely focused on him instead of the study part of college, because I think love is much more important than anything else.  Leading to my lack of a love life in college, and my lack of study.  I can't figure out what it is I need to do to start getting good at college, I think most of this would have gone better if I had started out at UNCG where I would be automatically inundated into the college life through the dorms.  I really wish I'd gone to UNCG and stayed in the dorms all years.  The only problem is Sir Piggy, that I would hate to lose.  If anyone else has any answers I don't have, please comment with them.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

That is Life

The only thing no one remembers to tell you when you work fast food: when someone says you work a certain job it does not mean you work that certain job.  When I work on lobby, which someone basically says is cleaning, what it really means is that I am the only one whose job everyone else deems unimportant.  Because of this, one working lobby will quite frequently  be working an half hour or more over time.  I originally nearly always worked an hour overtime.  The reason for this is that I was the one person who took  up the slack for everyone's jobs, because everyone else deemed my job to be the easiest job there, and the endless cycle causing me to work overtime quite often.  Because of this, on days I do lobby, I also quite frequently do drive-thru, cash register, and packing at different times of the day for other people to go on break, usually resulting in me not getting a break.  The one thing one will get as a fast food worker is under-appreciation, but the worst part is the most under-appreciation goes to those that have the hardest jobs or work the hardest.  As the French say it "C'est la vie," or "That is Life."

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Surviving Summer

Many of the things people will tell you about college has nothing to do with what goes on during the summers.  Summers for the people trying to finance their own college courses usually are along the lines of work, work, and more work; but I have not been able to find that.  I originally was going to do a summer job along with working at Bojangles, but so far no one has called me back for jobs, in my small town, jobs are scarce.  No one really has any extra places for people under the age of 18 because one mistakenly believes that 18 year olds are more likely to have more bills to pay.  News Flash: not everyone graduates high school at 18, some people have to make a living at 17.  There should be exceptions for that, but there's not. 

I was hoping to take a summer course called Math 161, also known as College Algebra.  When I tried signing up for the course, it would not let me in.  I tried contacting my academic advisers (I have two) but they were not able to get me in and neither was the top counselor.  I had the SAT scores to get into the course, but the computer would not allow me to sign up.  I am slightly regretful about that, but not entirely.  I wanted to get the class over with, but to be honest I hate math so much I get anxiety attacks when I have to take math tests.  Nothing cures them, I highly believe that it is contributing to a growing amount of learned helplessness as far as math goes and is something that getting a doctor's note should get me out of.  In the end, it also makes no sense as I am planning a major along the lines of an English major or a Foreign language major.  Neither of these makes any sense as to why there should be any math past simple math involved.

As far as summer goes, I am trying to find something fun to do, but I just find myself wishing something more interesting would happen or I could just quit my job at Bojangles.  My job at Bojangles seems to be the only thing motivating me now as far as college goes however, seeing as I cannot stand the fact that a power-hungry idiot gets to have complete and utter power over me, while there's nothing I can do about it.  I had enough of that at my last job.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Pain One Goes Through to Get Certain Days Off

Let me start with this one simple fact: I love my job at Bojangles.  I feel like I do well at it, most of the managers treat me well, and the customers are awesome most of the time.  However, getting specific days off, is incredibly excruciating; mainly because of the fact that the scheduling is done by the one boss that does not love me (I am naming her Ms. B for right now).  Let me say first, that I have tried to get into her good books, however she just does not want to be nice to me.  I have only tried to ask for times off on 3 different occasions in the entire 5 months I have been working there, and I got one of them off because I had a speeding ticket court date that day. 

First time denied: Easter Sunday

I asked off for Easter Sunday almost a month in advance, there was no "X" over it at the time(there's an "X" in the book on all of the calendar days no one is allowed to ask off), and I needed a day off to go see the grandparents I see about twice a year.  This is a big family thing for everyone on my dad's side, and unless you are dying; you need to be there. 

The day before Easter Sunday Ms. B asks me why I wanted the day off.  I tell her why, and she tells me that I cannot have that day off, I must work tomorrow, because there is an "X" on that day, she explains to me why it has an "X" on it, acting like I am the biggest idiot in the world before promptly walking to the back to do something else.  I was pissed, but I dealt with it and got through to my break where I apologized to my parents and grandparents for the fact I would not be able to be there.  They understood.  When Easter Sunday happened however, the lobby was dead.  I was to work cleaning the lobby this day as well.  I asked whether it was supposed to get busy later, as I assumed I was not allowed off because it would be insanely busy and I would be needed.  I get my answer from the cashier that says "Nah, it's supposed to be dead on Easter Sunday."  I was immediately confused and annoyed as I now had no idea why I was supposed to work the only day I had asked off in 2 months (I worked on my birthday, and granted I only work about 4 days a week).  I asked why I was not allowed to have the day off then and was answered with "because it's a holiday, no one is allowed to ask off."

I accepted this that one time, before another time came up that I absolutely had to have off. 


Second Time Denied:  Mother's Day Morning

This time I came in and asked off 3 weeks in advance,  I had also asked the shift manager on duty (the only manager there at the time) if I could just ask for the morning off because that was all I needed.  He said to just write that down in the book. 

At this time there was an "X" over Mother's Day, but there were also "X's" all over the week before Mother's Day as well.  Either way, I had to have that morning off, and figured it would be okay since I was only asking for a partial day off. 

The week of Mother's Day, the schedule placed me to work in the morning on Sunday.  I found this out on Tuesday, but at the time, Ms. B was the only manager there, so I figured I need not bother her, and decided I would talk to someone else about the fact I could not be there on Sunday.  I came in on Thursday to talk to one of the higher up managers there: Mr. E.  I explained my situation and he said he would take care of it.

Saturday morning, I come in to Ms. B deciding I should be told in front of all other employees at Bojangles how much of an idiot I apparently am for asking for that morning off when it was crossed off.  She tells me "Okay, I am going to explain this once and for all so that there is no confusion.  When there is an "X" on a day, no one can ask off; it means I have already made the schedule for that week and no one can get off."
One of the higher managers is standing behind her as she says this, leading me to believe the same thing is happening as it happened with Easter Sunday.

I am so furious, I am shaking.  I have to walk off and do something else just so that I do not read her the riot act, and tell her what I am really thinking.  I could not believe that with all of the days I have been called in because someone else needed the day off, that I would have to not have the one day I was asking off. 

She tells me to go on break an hour later, and I am so pissed I clock out immediately and head to Taco Bell so I can hand them my resume.  I get to Taco Bell to find out they are still closed at this time before I call mom to apologize, and hoping she can keep me from going back there and handing in my resignation.  My mother calms me down, reminds me how hard it was to find a job last time, and tells me I need to ask Ms. B if I can come in early, just have a lengthy break and come back so I can still be at the breakfast.  If that did not work, I needed to ask for the employee handbook and talk to another boss about it.

I was waiting for the end of either my shift or Ms. B's shift so that one of us could leave once the conversation was over.  Then my mom got apparently so furious with how she was treating me so she ended up coming and introducing herself to Ms. B to show that someone had my back.  She did not say anything bad, though I was horribly embarrassed by the fact that  my mom was coming in to confront my boss.  She asked Ms. B to see to it that I got a written copy of the employee handbook, before she left. 

Ms. B continuously asked me about it later on in that hour and I kept pretending I had no idea, because Ms. B would make my life hell if I acted like I knew anything.   I kept my head down until Ms. B was about to leave and my bigger boss that was on my side was there (not next to her or anywhere near her when this happened) when I asked about the compromise I was willing to do, when she said "but you already have someone to cover you, I was just warning you about next time."  I was so happy I did not really care about all of the flaws in her statement, I was just glad I got the time off.

I am still applying elsewhere, however, as I cannot believe that she would do that to me after all I have done for her.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Boys and Bojangles

I began dating guys again right before I got hired at Bojangles.  So in the first week of December I had a muscular 18-year-old taking me out on a coffee date, but he seemed to think that buying me a cup of coffee equals the cost of some benefits not on the menu....  Needless to say, after the second date (when he insinuated this), I never went out with him again, thus ending the only two dates I had in 2012.

I got hired at Bojangles on December 13th, and have been working there since.  I even had a crush on one of my co-workers at one time before I realized he was not the down-home country boy who was a total sweetheart on the inside.  It turned out he was just a jerk and an idiot, with a girlfriend.  This jerk had also just allowed me to believe he did not have a girlfriend; while all of my other co-workers were telling me he wanted me.  Thus ending that crush, especially since he later decided I was totally heartbroken over him and decided to tell other co-workers this.  Bojangles happens to be one of the best jobs I have had so far, it's tiring, but I feel like I am appreciated most of the time.  I actually have friends at this job; a commodity I had not had at any of my other jobs.

First Part of Social Life and Work in the First Semester

In the first semester of college, I had one friend besides a friend I had made in high school, but she lived an hour away and could not drive at the time, so she was almost out of the question most of the time.  The one friend I really had was someone I just talked to sometimes after hours at college classes.  She was not really a real friend, I was mainly a loaner anyway so this did not entirely matter much, I was working anyway so I had fewer times to be with friends.

As far as my McDonald's job went, I applied for other jobs the second I moved, and finally was offered a job at a pizza place, because it was not worth it to take one hour to drive to work for 4 hours of work.  I was just so tired of commuting, college took 45 minutes to get there anyway.  The job took its sweet time calling me after I resigned from working at McDonald's, and it was difficult writing my first resignation for a job I had worked at for 6 months, especially when they treated me well. I just wanted some change in my life.  So, in mid-September of 2012, I was learning how to be a waitress for a boss that treated me like an idiot.  He yelled at me constantly for doing things, or not doing things, or just about anything really.  He enjoyed talking down to me, and on my last day he did not apologize for accidentally hitting me over the head with a baking pan, when I was sure he heard me say "Ouch!" as I was right behind him when it happened.  He started yelling at me in front of the customers coming in, and telling me how incompetent I was, so I took his washcloth, handed it to him with my apron, saying "I quit, I will be back in two days for my paycheck, with a clean uniform to hand you."  This was at the end of my second week working for him.

He ended up saying "Come back for your check on Monday."  Something I hated him saying, because he smiled through saying that, while also acting like he was the one with the power in the situation.  When I wish I had told him how much of a jerk he was and I should have called the Better Business Bureau on him.  I called on Monday, and he said he did not have the check for me that day.  I came in on Tuesday without calling, with my mom next to me, because I just knew he was going to say something to set me off if I came in alone. In the end I almost wished I came in alone, so I could roundhouse kick him in the face.  I was near Black belt when I quit Tae Kwon Do, and had gotten trophies for doing well in the last few testings.  I was sure I could take him.

I walked into the restaurant (Hell hole).  The second he saw me, he looked like he was going to say something to me before he saw my mother.  He ended up just taking his sweet time with writing my check that he had told me he would have a day ago.  He finally hands me my check and tells me "I'm sorry you're not with us anymore."

I take the check, and walk out the door saying "I'm not."  That was my last laugh, besides the fact that I now stick my tongue out whenever I see that pizza place on my way to Walmart.

At the Beginning in College

I started college with a 3.84 GPA from high school, and way too many expectations.  I had no idea what I wanted to do in life, but I guessed that I wanted to be an editor.  I started at a community college, and to be honest mainly expected it to be the same easy stuff from high school.  I had never had to study in high school, so I was kind of expecting community college to be the same way; it was not.  I got a huge newsflash when I gained my report card from first semester.  I had never had an "F" before, ever.  I ended up gaining one from the hardest teacher I have had in years...  "Mrs. A." is what I will call her.  She was nice, but she was pregnant and I am pretty sure that affected her mood swings a bit.  Because her class counted as a lab and an English class, I was immediately put on academic probation.  I lost hope in any possibility of becoming an editor, especially with the fact that I had taken another class from her called "Critical Thinking"(Which I gained a "D" in).  The concepts of the class were insanely easy yet she still managed to make the tests really hard, and I had no idea how she was doing it.

All of my other grades were better than her class' grades, but the damage was done.  My parents opened up a piece of mail one day that stated that I was on academic probation, and when they received the mail it hit me hardest.  I had messed up big time.  At first I was going to run away.  I packed my bag full of clothes and 3 water bottles.  I grabbed some cash from my shelves, and then I went to see Ashes, I decided to leave him at home because I knew mom would take care of him.  At first I turned off my cell phone, but then I got to thinking that maybe I should just keep it with me instead of leaving it at home  I had planned to head to Rhode Island worse comes to worst if I could not find a job, because I could at least get a job as a stripper there.  I got to Pittsboro before my common sense kicked in and I realized I should head back.  I finally ended up coming home after attempting to get to my brother's apartment and getting way too lost.  I ended up heading back home in the end because I was just that tired.  My parents did not talk about it, they just had me sit down to dinner and we stayed off the subject; just what I had needed at the time.  They waited a few days for me to calm down before asking me what I was planning to do about my grades, but I had already signed up for the second semester, so I just signed up for ENG 111 to take once again.


Side Story: The Day I Gained my Baby(Sir Piggy)

A week before this, I had been to the Pet Smart just to look around.  What started as looking around ended with me being attached to a black guinea pig.  I had held him at the pet store and immediately fell in love.  He became the one thing I cannot go without, and when I finally move out, I am taking him with me. 
A week after meeting him at the pet store for the first time, I had persuaded my parents to let me keep him.  I had done all of the usual promises, “I’ll take care of him, I promise,” while having to go through all of the usual things, I had amassed enough money to buy him, along with all of his things, beforehand, however, there was one worry left in mind “Will he still be there when I get there?”  I had been unable to think about what would happen if he were not.  I ran into the pet store, got down on my knees, and looked into the cage.    
There in the cage was the same black and orange guinea pig I had fallen in love with.  He looked up at me and I was so amazed as we waited for the lady at the pet store to come get him out of the cage for me.  I was overloaded with happiness at the fact my baby, whom I had decided to name “Ashes”, was there and no one had taken him.  The only thing was, the pet store person refused to let me put him on hold so I could go get the things for him.  I had a decision to make, I could open him up to the possibility of being taken by someone else, or I could take him with me and leave him in the car for a few minutes.  I hesitated, but I had waited so long to see mybaby, opening him up to the possibility of being taken was awful to me.  I immediately decided to take him.  Afterwards I was lectured by the annoying blonde pet store lady, who had assumed I was some stupid kid who did not research the pet she was getting before she looked at it and decided it was cute.  I quickly proved her wrong.I had researched so well I could call a guinea pig by its scientific name “Cavius Porcellus”.  I showed her so too, and she obliged in being a little better.  The checkout was going smooth until I got to target, and target did not have the cage materials I wanted.  I decided to go home and order them online, but until then, I had to leave Ashes in an overturned laundry basket on top of a blanket.  Ashes ended up well, and after a while, he became known as “Sir Piggy”, but when I met him, I was set for life.

Sir Piggy changed my life, by giving me someone to look after, as well as helping me learn to accept my job.  To this day, there are few that are more influential than my baby, Sir Piggy.

Ending High School With Too Many Changes

The summer before senior year, I was bored with life.  My parents were considering transferring me to another high school because they wanted to start a farm.  I was trying to go along with it, but when looking at the high schools in the small town, most of them sucked.  So mom comes home one day with a plan: I have enough credits from my high school, I can skip 11th grade to get out of high school faster if I transfer to a charter school.  I go along with the transfer, ready for some changes because I had transferred schools almost every 2 years since homeschooling anyway.  The only blip is that I would have to take a math class over the summer: Precalculus...  Dun Dun Dun!!!!!!

My mother was really nice, and decided to pay for a tutor (my sister: Biomath PhD) to teach me Precalculus over the summer; mainly because of my issues with math anxiety(pretty much fear of failure at life because of being unable to do well at math).  I ended up doing very well at this, but it was a definite struggle.  I had less anxiety attacks than I had the year before in an Algebra 2 Honors course, but I was also frustrated with the fact I had to take another math class(I had no idea what I wanted to be, but obviously it was not going to include math after Algebra, so why did I have to take another math class?).

So anyway, I get to senior year, I had been taking Tae Kwon Do for a while, so I continued, and I also took up cheerleading.  At this school there were so few people that anyone who wanted to become a cheerleader, could.  I made a few friends, and even a boyfriend.  He ended up being an idiot like most of my ex-boyfriends, but the girls he tried to get lucky with nearly shaved his eyebrows completely off so....  (Just desserts.)

I got through senior year, picked up a job at McDonald's, and decided I wanted to go to UNCG.  The only thing was that I would have to take out a loan to go to UNCG after I got accepted.  I thought in the beginning that I would be able to pay for half of my tuition, but then my laptop broke down, car insurance ended up costing more than I thought, and I thought that since I was going to be going to college anyway, I might as well start community college(either way Sir Piggy would not be able to be in the dorm room, another change that happened in Senior year, me gaining Sir Piggy that is).