Song Of The Day

This song got me through a saturday working at Bojangles, it helped me time my motions and helped me not to think about the idiots I had to listen to over the drive-thru intercom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cON1VmHX1jE

Song of The Day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUneC3h9yUA

Found this song on youtube the other day and so far have made a few deductions, I wish guys had more alcohol available to them or maybe just some balls.  The reason I go out with few white guys is because every other race just asks me out more.

Song of The Day

I've really been into nightcore lately, so I am just going to start putting up songs to inspire my happiness or feelings of empowerment once a day every day from now on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoWK5WgafPU

An awesome song to listen to the nightcore version of Bruises and Bitemarks by Good With Grenades.

Hypocrites

What is the definition of a "slut"?

I looked it up on dictionary.com and this is what I got :

slut  (slʌt) 

— n
1. derogatory  a dirty slatternly woman.
2. derogatory  an immoral woman.
3. archaic  a female dog.

Then I looked at another definition from thefreedictionary.com, and this is what I got:

1.
a. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.
b. A woman prostitute.

2. A slovenly woman; a slattern.

I was prompted to look this up after a conversation between some people at work that consisted of the words "the slutty girls are ruining the world for the rest of us."
This conversation was being had between a female mother who is not married and never has been, as well as a 21-year-old female that lives with her boyfriend and has a step-son through said boyfriend.  

As slut is synonymous with whore, one can assume that it has some similar connotations.  The definition of a whore during bible times was any woman who had sex outside of marriage, in high school it was any female who had sex with anyone at all, and now in college it seems to be any female that another female dislikes, it is just the go-to word when someone cannot think of any other insult to place upon a female.

People deemed me a slut in high school constantly, while I was actually a virgin all throughout high school, though admittedly my clothes showed off my body, I did not get sent home at any point in time for a dress code violation during high school.

In conclusion, it is smartest to not call anyone else a slut, as you will be deemed one yourself as well as have earned the titles "hypocrite," and "bitch".

Male currently watching me

I am currently observing this guy from my peripheral vision, he has been watching me at this library for at least ten minutes, he's not exactly being discrete about it now, well more like he thinks he's being discrete.  These guys can be such idiots at times, I am acting like I haven't noticed him because I am not interested in this particular guy, he keeps acting like he's staring at his laptop but it's painfully obvious he's been watching me, I think he noticed my earbuds and that's why he hasn't made a move yet, but there's also the fact that he has a drink, and is in a corner where he's less likely to be seen.  It's really interesting, a nice psychological observation.  I'm pretty sure he thinks I haven't seen him yet, he looks a little young.

I am hoping to see the 24 year old today in music appreciation, maybe he'll entertain me enough to stay awake, I am always so bored in MUS, counting the people falling asleep gets really old.  I have been listening to "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera today, awesome to dance to.  Look in my next post for the top ten dirty songs playlist.

Signed Up for OkCupid.com

When I first looked at the list you could see why most of these people had resorted to a dating website, very few were in shape or good looking, but some of the nerds are interesting.  The conversation's better than omegel at the very least, and no pictures of someone's phallus with googly eyes, something I never want to see again.

Depressing Poems and Life SUCKS

I have been trying to write poems for my English 113 class, and have completely ended up with depressing poems, finally gave up trying to write something that was not going to land me in a guidance counselor's office.

I really hate the administrative people attached to colleges, they drive me insane, first they lead you in circles, then they mess up and refuse to allow you to fix their mistakes, it is insanely annoying.
This leading me to my new acronym:
S. - Supremely annoying work.
U. -Undeniably annoying people
C. - Costs coming out of nowhere.
K. -Killing all who approach.
S. - Sex lack.

So life SUCKS recently... 

McDonald's Did Not Work

They ended up telling me that they wanted to hire me but refused to pay me the $8.25 per hour I asked for and would have decreased me to $7.50 per hour.  Obviously  that is not working, also telling me she wanted an interview was a ruse as she only had me fill out paperwork when I got there without allowing me to discuss wage until the end, not something I am happy about.

Combined with the estimated $4700 I might have to spend on my car at max, minimum around $4000.00.  I have yet to call her and tell her I refuse to take the job as I asked her for some time to think about it.  I am really starting to wonder what I pissed off to make my semester suck so much, currently suffering from writer's block on my essay on the Declaration of Independence...  I wish there was a certain way of writing an essay that would work for every teacher, as mine is a PhD in English that pronounces "advertisement" incorrectly at every opportunity.  My math teacher is a snob, unlike the awesome math teacher I had last semester, and I am so seriously annoyed with the fact that life just sucks right now, and I am taking birth control for no reason as every time I am having issues finding an fwb.  Anyone's life suck less than mine recently?

Just Checking In

Hey, it is day 2 of my taking the birth control pill Lo Loestrin Fe.  Still having no effects from it yet, and wondering if I will actually lose my virginity before my two boxes of condoms expire.  I have seen some youtube videos on Lo Loestrin Fe as reviews but none of these seem that bad, except hoping that it will lighten my periods, not really having to worry about whether I am pregnant or not, seeing as my sex life does not exist outside of whatever fictional generalizations I make at times. I am trying to see if anything new will happen in my life and wondering when I will actually feel any sort of motivation to actually do something, granted I am blogging and that is better than nothing.  I am hoping to find some sort of interesting thing to do with my time to curb my addiction to doing anything that is not schoolwork.  Sometimes I wonder if I should just quit school altogether, but so far attempting to make it.  I do not want to do anything, but cannot miss any more days of Critical Thinking class, I have missed enough days and do not want to fail it a second time.  Still no news on my car, but it's kind of to be expected.
 I am starting a group project and am supposed to be contacting all of these people right now but not really interested at the moment, wondering how vlogging would work as I really need a new hobby, and sometimes I wonder if this blog reaches anyone, granted I know it has had 400 views total, but I have only ever seen one comment, so I'm kind of wondering if anyone can hear me.  I am thinking of a bucket list.  Will provide it in next post, but please just tell me if you actually read my blog, I am open to suggestions.

An Experiment

I am having the same issues I had in the first semester, I cannot find myself any motivation to actually do work.  I have no idea why this is happening, and I do not have any reason for this to be happening, yes work sucks, but other than that I can find no reason for my not feeling any need to actually do work for school.  It's not logical at all and I have been close to diagnosing myself with some sort of psychological calamity, as nothing else seems to be going wrong.  It's like when one thing goes right everything goes right but when one thing goes wrong everything goes wrong.

I was looking at the differences between this semester and last semester, for example last semester:

I worked 35 hours a week on average
I made almost straight A's
I had a 16 hour work load at school
I had more friend gatherings
I had not had work lying to me
I had an awesome math teacher
No anxiety attacks
Had one online class

This semester:

I work between 20-30 hours at most
I am not making an A in anything except Music Appreciation
Different math teacher
 3 anxiety attacks so far
I have dropped one online class
I had signed up for 2 online classes
Crashed my car a few days ago, but no injuries


The things that seem to be consistent is the amount of work I was doing as well as good emotions seemed to correlate with my good grades, I will need to dissect to figure out if a combination of both working harder and better emotions will cause my grades to increase.  Please stand by for results.